Roundabouts.
Specifically, the Apex Corner roundabout in Mill Hill. Every single exit on this chaotic catherine wheel is a major thoroughfare of northwest London, so close as it is to the motorway.
As week-long interlopers of the metropolis, we’re not used to the frequent honking horns as cars swing around the circle, indicating (or not) their expected intentions. It’s a wonder we’ve not seen any crashes but, somehow or other, everybody seems to navigate in and out of this carousel unscathed, at least on our watch.
It’s not even the largest roundabout we know, with only four arms off the wheel. The Clatterbridge roundabout near us on the Wirral has six and manages to bamboozle many people who don’t use it regularly. To me, it’s perfectly straightforward, but I slingshot off it on a regular basis.
Neither of these two roundabouts are a patch on the mind-exploding ‘Magic Roundabout’ in Swindon though. We happened across this when we were dropping Vince off after the ‘Race To The Stones’ a few weeks back. On the ends of the inner circle’s five arms, there are a further five more mini roundabouts. I’m glad I don’t live in Swindon.
To be fair, now that we’ve been here about four days, we’re getting the hang of this London whirligig too. We’ve had to use it every day because the dog’s regular walk – we’re dog-sitting – is a short car ride away, and there’s just no other way to get there than via the Apex Corner. We now know that we have to dive into the third of the four lanes entering the circle, so that we are well positioned to veer off out at the correct exit. Simples.
Today, I didn’t even have to get Anne to put the satnav on, I was that comfortable. Having tried a slow, baking hot, three-miler yesterday on a tiny local green bit, where I seemed, ironically, to loop round and round the path in the grass, I put some kit on to run with Bonnie on her walk. She ran with me for the first mile and was thrilled that we were doing out and backs on side trails to increase the distance. After that, because it was still quite hot, she stuck to fast walking and kept trying to herd me back to Anne, having switched on some latent sheep-dog gene – Bonnie’s a Labrador.
The dog-sitting this week has been nice but I’m glad we are not responsible for an animal full time – I’m not that much of a grown-up. We did manage to venture into the city centre yesterday, on the hottest day of the week, into the thirties. Walking along the river from Waterloo station to Lambeth palace, we passed the London Eye on our side and the Houses of Parliament on the other. We also passed an absolute ton of people who were, for the most part, tourists just like us. I could feel myself getting frustrated as I tried to weave around people taking selfies in front of things ahead of us. We could have done with some human roundabouts along the waterfront.
Eventually, I got my head around the art of ambling, which I’m really not good at. But given the wealth of society and the oppressive heat all around us, I had no choice but to change my mindset. We were heading to the Garden Museum, a small place next to the entrance of Lambeth Palace. It was interesting, smaller than we’d anticipated, but had an interesting exhibition on the Bloomsbury women and their country abodes. We did find a lovely café that is semi attached to the place, that did gorgeous sardines. It’s a rare thing to have to ask for a shady corner in this country, but they managed to find us one.
Tonight, we’re off to see Cabaret the musical, apparently our seats are at the front tables, so it will be just like being in the Kit Kat club. It will require navigating the public transport system, for the buses and the Underground, but at least there will be no roundabouts.
theleadlesspencil 
As ladies of discernment and distinction, I think the Magic Roundabout would be the least of your reasons for not wanting to live in Swindon. Enjoy your slice of London.
Your words, if anybody from Swindon complains, not mine!
Ah, Apex Corner roundabout. That brings back memories as it was a virtually unavoidable feature of my daily commute between my inner London home and the school where I worked as a senior leader for eighteen years.
Two particular memories of this intimidating gyratory system stand out. The first was a Saturday afternoon journey home from school where I had been interviewing prospective 11+ pupils (and, as crucially, their parents) on their suitability to be offered a place at the school. Approaching the roundabout, a massive 4×4 (its driver presumably forgetting that they couldn’t change lane simply by nudging any adjacent vehicle out of the way) suddenly slid into the near side wing of my car. It wasn’t travelling fast, and no one was hurt, but the collision left its mark which the other driver, admitting fault, got her insurance company to repair.
My second indelible memory of Apex Corner comes from almost the same point of approach, once again on my way home from the same school on the first day of the summer holiday in 2020. This time I had been playing over the traumatic interview I had just had with my boss during which she informed that my job, and therefore my services in the role, was being axed. At the roundabout, I was suddenly panicked about how I was going to tell my partner this devastating news and how we were going to pay the mortgage. I was also struck that this was probably the end of my career.
I only once again had to navigate the Apex Corner merry go round, on the way home from clearing my office on a quiet late Friday afternoon in August when no pupil or colleague apart from the HR representative and the duty caretaker were on site to acknowledge my eighteen years service, or to bid me farewell.
I hope you enjoyed Cabaret. We saw it many years ago with our nine year-old son when singer Will Young played Emcee. Before curtain-up, a manager came to check with us that we were aware that some of the content might be a bit risqué for Bobby. We knew it might be, but we are not censors and judged that he would cope anyway. And, as warned, at one point one of the actors did streak stark-bollock naked across the stage. Bobby, however, was too busy rifling in his bag of Maltesers to notice. Luckily, he paid closer attention to the rest of the performance, enthusiastically rising to his feet as did we all at the end of a truly remarkable show.
I hope your experience was as good and that any nakedness – or chocolate – wasn’t too much of a distraction.
Woah, memories at Apex corner! It is a nuts roundabout –
Cabaret was very powerful, much more so than the film and I loved the film. No full nudity but Leighton Williams as the Emcee had a suitably mercurial face going from welcoming to coy; sinister to stony with ease. They’ve made the Playhouse a permanent residence for Cabaret now and I think that is so crucial in this day and age unfortunately.